Friday, April 30, 2010

Conversations with the mysterious superhero "Boxwoman"

Secret conversations with a closet superhero.

B.W - Is that what u thot of me as well.

B.B - When?

B.W - We first interacted.

B.B - No,first was arrey who's this college kid frying my head bout a laptop the time

B.W - When later we started chatting about 'work' and stuff.

B.B - Never weird,always wired and super enthu loud...why 20 questions?

B.W - Cause I'm a lot like her.

B.B - Not at all..please!!!!!! Ur anything but her..she talks more than required.

B.W - Ok so I'm gonna scoot.

B.B - Because my answers weren't satisfactory???? Wtf.

B.W - Yup and hence I steal ure boxes and run away.

B.B - That's actually a funny picture,you with 3 big cartons on your head!!!

C.S - Yeah? Well guess what ure carrying 2.

B.B - Aaahhhhhhh ok!

B.W - Up up up.

B.B - Now you're superman.

B.W - I'm not a man in a silly red sheet.

B.B - So what superhero are you?

B.W - Boxwoman u wanna be my sidekick..:)

B.B - I was wondering when you'd ask..I was like,shit shit..can I be her sidekick,can I be her sidekick. And now in this excitement,I've forgotten my name and superpower.

B.W - U are mallu friday. Come let's fly mf.

My next conversation with this superhero will see me re-christened as M.F (mallu friday or MoFo?)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010



It was a little difficult to understand this comfort..this space..this us.I was fighting it a bit to be honest but gave in happily. To understand that although early,its been something that I've yearned for through all my trials and errors. Comfort. Probably the most difficult state or place to be in. But I find that zen like state in your arms, with you, within you.

I can be..and I haven't ever just been.

I can go blank and I've always been preoccupied.

I can sleep and I've always been deprived of it.

I can start walking on that road to love where I've always been running,panting and gasping for air with that emotion forced down my throat.

I can focus on the now and I can focus on we and I focus on me.

I can bare my soul and not for the least bit worry about hammer that's smashed against the table so hard always passing judgement and convicting me of a crime Id never commit

I've shared the worst of me,the lowest I've been and the madness in my head and to see you smile,pinch,tickle and laugh has taken me underwater..calm,quiet,peaceful..with you and the sound of my heart beating faster steadily everyday.

As I tell myself everynight..tommorrow is another beautiful day with you.

Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on

Was going through a list of his songs and I had an "oh cannonball" moment and reading it takes me to you singing it....:)


Friday, April 2, 2010


How do i come to terms with the loss of a loved one.

Do i feel any less pain because of my lack of a sad expression or inability to shed a tear.

My cousin died yesterday.

His sister gave birth to a beautiful girl the day before.

Appu, Ive loved ever sunday when we'd come to get the better of you and thommen, with tara always there to break up a fight or make sure the toys were equally distributed.

You lived free and with no fear.

Laila and Tommy raised a wonderful son who grew up to be a wonderful and brilliant man.

Thommen and Tara, your brother will always be remembered and all the memories we've shared are permenantly etched into my heart.

I was looking for something that i could use to explain and i came across this

“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

Love you.miss you.will never forget you.