Monday, March 22, 2010
To sit talk and explain what my last 7 months were is for some reason difficult to do. I find myself at most times confused about the range of emotions i felt in such a short time. What started as fondness then moved at a pace that i find difficult explaining to love and then to my mind being pulled by angst, sorry and lowered self esteem to even faster..absolut hate and ultimatley forgivness. What used to burn post this experience and my ressurection after the dust settled is my process. I slowly peel away one layer at a time yet im happy that ive never fully peeled myself to the bones.Im happy that this saucer full of secrets is yet to see its true keeper.
This process is how I choose to let people in...absolut trust, never waivering, rocksteady.
Ive been told that im guarded, but thats untrue. I wear my heart on my sleeve, proud, for all to see. I feel thats its actually very easy to see emotion on this expressionless face if you look close enough. My lack of expression hides so much expression if you only but choose to see.
I choose to trust blindly and unconditionally because i beleive that is the only way you filter in the ones that truly matter and i do that with everyone around me.
I have been burnt, toasted, fired but always gotten up to a new set of experiences and always a welcome addition into my mind. Like someone wise said, you are always surrounded by people that feel they are all close to you, but you cherish the fact that you are close to only a few.
Why give anybody and everybody that pleasure.