Wednesday, January 9, 2008

9 isnt the best time to start

"I'm going to sleep after the next 10 pages" i keep telling myself. But i reach page 40 and before you know it, my squint tell me its 4 in the morning. I pay my maid a daily wage, so you can understand her determination to clean my room and my frustration when i hear her knock non stop at 8 in the morning to get in. I slowly drag myself out of bed to let her in, crawl back in again and supervise her in my comatose state. half an hour passes and i close the door behind her. My warm bed calls out to me like a nymph that's never satisfied and i so desperately want to give in to her.

"One quick cold shower sudeip" I keep repeating to myself and run into the bath. its 8:45 and I'm out of the bath, fresh as i can be, Louis Armstrong softly playing in the background telling me what a beautiful world I'm walking out into. I would love to finish the song, but i rudely remind myself that i need to be at the restaurant before everybody else and so I'm out of my room half hopping getting my shoes on.I don't exercise and so satisfy my latent urge to exercise everyday by walking down 4 floors to reach a fleet of gleaming "autos" all waiting to take me to work. You see, I'm very short-tempered and the auto rickshaws in Hyderabad and their insane drivers 9 times out of 10 very sweetly tell you to go fuck a tree cos he dosen't feel like taking you. I end up catching an auto with an sweet old man behind the wheel and after a bit of emotional blackmail about how he's taking advantage of the fact that nobody else wants to take me, and that he looks like a god fearing man and if his son were urgently looking for an auto would he want his son to be denied the way he's denying me, you see, thankfully sometimes i love the fact that we run very high on emotions and so I'm off to work.

Most people who come to India for the first time either love autos or are left terrified vowing never to sit in one again. I for one love the fact that there are no doors and you adjust your weight depending on where he's turning so you don't fall off, but all in all its something i love doing every morning. Another things about autos in general are that 9 times out of 10 the fare meter is rigged. its one small disc inside that they change( you look at the number of security seals on a meter and you wonder how) and that makes it jump all the more faster. its sounds like your heart rate if you had a naked buxom blond sitting next to you in the auto every day waiting to satisfy your every desire. Over trial and error, i usually use the "I'm your friend" trick to get past paying more. Emotions run high here and we just love to talk, so i usually start with a random issue. In fact for the past month Ive been using an issue that is very dear to all my fellow auto drivers hearts..... the replacement of the old meters with tamper free electronic ones, something a majority have resisted but have now had to adopt. I start by saying "I dont think you should change your meters". Thats all i need to say, i have conversation albeit one way for the entire duration of my journey. All i do is nod and before you know it im at work paying the exact fare instead of the 6-10 Rupee mark up on most autos.

I LOVE IT!! My first post...

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